MEDIA BLITZ
By John Molori
Visions of shortstops dance in our heads
The Boston media continues to drone on incessantly about Boston and New York trades and signings. Let’s face it, baseball’s off-season is no longer a hot stove league, it’s merely a hot plate league, with two teams burning up the phone lines.
So, as the Yankees and Red Sox try to out-deal each other, here’s a holiday ode to the media coverage, with my apologies to Clement C. Moore.
‘Twas the week before Christmas, and on radios and TV’s,
Everyone had an opinion on the Sox and Yankees.
Mike Adams has already handed Boston the 2004 crown,
While Steve DeOssie warned that they still have to bring New York down.
“Mustard and Johnson” say New York is worse without Pettitte.
These Saturday gabbers really don’t get it.
Steinbrenner doesn’t sit there and mope with a frown.
He pursues Sheffield, Vasquez, Lofton and Brown.
Garciaparra bared his soul on WEEI’s “Dale and Neumy.”
The prospect of being traded makes the shortstop so gloomy.
He loves being in Boston whether fans boo or applaud,
But he’s miffed at John Henry for talking to A-Rod.
Dale Arnold said all of this is Nomar’s own fault.
He turned down 60 million dollars from the Red Sox big vault.
Arnold thinks Nomar’s agent is innocent in this war.
I guess he thinks Alan Eagleson did no harm to Bobby Orr.
“Wallach and Dickerson” said the shortstop market has come down.
Nomar should have grabbed the 60 million and stayed in Beantown,
But lo and behold these “experts” know nada.
The Orioles gave $72 million to Miguel Tejada.
Arn Tellem says John Henry has been “disingenuous.”
Their relationship, to say the least, is certainly quite tenuous.
It’s an infield in turmoil with A-Rod and Nomar.
Now Dan Shaughnessy says the Sox might get Roberto Alomar!
Steve Buckley and Gerry Callahan say that Nomar is a villain,
Glenn Ordway slams Manny Ramirez ’cause he’s always just chillin’.
But Nomar’s a good soldier. His worth is time-tested,
And Manny may be different, but it’s not like he’s been arrested.
And then there is Pedro, the Red Sox mound hero
If you listen to some reporters, this ace is a zero.
Pedro speaks his mind, but the media abhor him.
Then they’re offended when he decides to ignore them.
And this, my friends, is the underlying theme
It’s not about who leaves or who comes to the team.
It’s all about who’s nice to the folks in the press,
Kiss their behinds and you’re a king, brush them off and you’re a mess.
Santa calls his reindeer Dancer and Prancer.
Reporters call Manny a bum and a cancer.
It happened with Ted Williams, Carl Yastrzemski and Jim Rice.
Roger Clemens and Mo Vaughn weren’t treated so nice.
Grady Little sticks with Pedro and they say he’s a goof.
You see, Grady speaks softly and is somewhat aloof.
Bill Belichick sticks with Ken Walter and they say he’s in the know.
You see, Belichick appears every Monday on “The Big Show.”
Little was grilled, sautéed and boiled to a simmer.
No manager was so panned since the days of Don Zimmer.
Exceptions were John Dennis, Sean McAdam and Tony Massarotti.
Other reporters treated Grady Little like John Gotti.
The Boston media is selective in whom they trash,
It has nothing to do with contracts or cash.
They get all over Manny for not hustling on a fly ball,
But say nothing when Larry Lucchino turns Yawkey Way into a mall.
When Manny slid head first into home, Felger slammed him with a grin.
Even when he hustles, Ramirez still cannot win.
From the moment he came here, he was treated like a stranger.
Manny, we hardly knew ye, now you might be a Ranger.
So what if Ramirez dreams of being a Yankee.
Give these crybaby reporters a big old white hanky.
Jeff Bagwell is one of Houston’s most beloved jocks.
Yet, he’s said many times that he dreams of playing for the Sox
It really doesn’t matter what venue or sport,
It can be the diamond at Fenway or the FleetCenter court.
Antoine Walker was vilified for his wiggle and his words,
Now he’s in Dallas and playing like Bird.
Even A-Rod is not immune to a Boston review.
Butch Stearns went looking for negatives in a “Sports Sunday” interview.
“What’s the bad side of A-Rod?” Yes that was the tenor.
Stearns actually made me long for the return of Tom Zenner.
Rodriguez has had lunch with the Red Sox big boss.
In Texas, he’s making about $250,000 per loss.
A-Rod says I’ll just remove the muzzle from the face of Scott Boras.
With that loud mouth agent, they surely can’t ignore us.
Reports are that Rodriguez is driving the deal,
Peter Gammons says A-Rod went to the Players’ Association to appeal.
If the Manny for A-Rod trade happens, I ask, would it be absurd,
To have Rodriguez at short, Mueller at second and Nomar at third?
Boston’s new pitchers have entered the fray.
Curt Schilling told reporters he can’t wait for Opening Day.
The new closer says he loves pressure and certainly won’t choke.
These are the words we have heard from Keith Foulke.
And through all of this, the Pats are sitting pretty,
Though SportsCenter gives more praise to the Colts and Kansas City.
Sox GM Theo Epstein is giving out orders.
Give the Pats the top headlines, he instructed reporters
On Dan Roche, on Nikoleski and on Wendi Nix!
They’re all in New Orleans to give us our fix.
So let the hosts gab and let the scribes write,
Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good sound bite!
John Molori’s Media Blitz column is published in The Boston Metro, The Providence Journal, The Lawrence Eagle-Tribune, The Lowell Sun, Patriots Football Weekly, BostonSportsMedia.com and MethuenOnline.com. John can be reached via E-mail at JOMOL3@aol.com.
